I am back to writing my blog. Running a business is an unpredictable game and that is why I decided I will not make any regular commitment to the blog. I want to write when inspired and rest when I need. My 2021 is about honouring my own energy. Tuning in to my feminine. Saying no to things that don’t feel good. Enjoying all the things I say yes to. I prioritise time outside, wholesome food, sleep, and deep conversations, as these are the things that fully energise me.
This post will reveal the crucial parts in my Human Design chart. I feel that uncovering human design and writing about my experience and how this experiment has felt can help others to embrace their own design and honour the fact that everyone is so different and that we are not supposed to fit in the mould that our society presents to us.
My human design chart includes some information about energy type (Projector), inner authority (Emotional), and strategy (Wait for an invitation).
Being a Projector
When you come across a definition of projector, you might find that projectors are non-energy types. Which, if you know me, might be like “What? No energy? Bullshit—you always work so hard…” And to be honest that’s partially how I first felt when I heard it. But then, through more research you will discover that projectors (along with manifestors and reflectors) do not have a defined sacral centre—therefore no sustainable source of sacral energy—which is the super strong life-force energy fuelling this world (more than 70% of the population does have access to this energy). What that means in “normal” language is that no matter how much projectors love what they do, they do not have energy to sustain long hours of work without taking breaks. They also feed off and amplify the sacral energy of generators (34% of population) and manifesting generators (around 37% of the population). This is great because then we can work really efficiently in short bursts of time riding on the energy of others, but after that, we need to rest. Hearing this was like a balm for my soul.
I always worked long hours, but I could also feel that after the morning buzz, I would start making mistakes and become exhausted. My performance, speed, and focus declined so much that even a regular task would take twice as long. At the end of such a day I could only sit down on the couch and stare at the wall. I would have no energy to cook, exercise, or do anything. And yet, this is the cycle I was working in for a long time. I always loved working jobs with shorter hours, like yoga teaching or barista training, but even the latter left me exhausted after cleaning up and commuting home.
I am not saying that all non–energy-beings will feel the same, nor that energy-beings will always feel energised. I could do so many more long hours when I was younger (I’m 31, so not quite a grandma yet, though that’s how I sometimes feel). In the last few years, especially since discovering yoga and meditation, I started slowing down, taking more breaks and days off, and prioritising myself over money and work. However, I still felt like I should do more, should work harder, and I couldn’t really rest without feeling guilty about wasting time. This is a part of our deep conditioning and most of the time is self-imposed. I don’t actually think that anyone would feel offended if I spent a day lazing around. When I attempted such adventures in the past, I struggled to let go of thoughts like “that’s a waste of time” or “I could clean instead,” etc. But discovering my human design was the true permission I needed. Without resting, I am no good for anyone; when I am exhausted I cannot be of help to anyone. Learning my design allowed me to embrace this part of myself as something that needs to be tended to gently.
Emotional beings
At first, having an emotional inner authority felt like a strange concept to me, but this was partly because I never deemed myself “emotional.” What does it mean to have an emotional inner authority? According to Human Design, around 50% of people have a defined solar plexus—aka emotional beings. The other half of the population has an open emotional centre, meaning that they have no consistent emotional energy of their own, but they will take in and amplify the emotions of the emotional beings around them. I have this centre defined, which sometimes feels like I cannot fully empathise and feel other people’s emotions. Every emotional being has an emotional wave, meaning that sometimes you feel up and sometimes down for no particular reason. I logically knew this, but I still tried to figure out why I was feeling low or snappy or sad, even when there was nothing wrong happening in my life. Yeah, the wave. I imagine it like a big roller coaster, and according to Human Design, emotionals shouldn’t make decisions at a high or a low. The best advice I was given was WAIT. Sleep on it. Your body knows what is good for your energy and what is not, and while your mind is powerful, when used as a decision-maker, it can lead you to the worst outcomes. So as an emotional being, no decision is ever yes or no straight away. My whole life I felt pressured to make decisions quickly. My husband (a splenic manifestor who can make yes/no decisions in the moment) would always tell me, “Come on honey, it’s yes or no. Maybe doesn’t exist!” (Not in his world anyway). For me everything is maybe. But with time, the clarity comes. One great thing to note is, if you are emotional, nothing will probably ever feel like 100% yes. There is always a chance that something better could show up.
Just wait…
As a projector, a strategy to navigate this world with the least amount of resistance is to wait. Wait for an invitation. I guess this is the hardest part of my design, because I hate waiting. It makes me nervous when I have to wait for someone, when I cannot go and make it happen. But then, when I look back, all the big things in my life came through an invitation. It does not mean there is nothing we can do but wait. Projectors are here to lead, to guide, to help others. So while waiting, the best thing to do is to learn, study, find out everything about the things that fascinate us and when the time comes, we can guide others by sharing it. The invitation does not apply for everything, but does apply to love and relationships, career, living situation, and sharing our gifts (e.g. giving advice). Also not every invitation coming into our lives is the correct one for us. The theory behind this is that once we wait and accept only the invitations that feel right, then the projector aura brightens and flashes ASK ME. We just love giving advice. It’s because we can see the big picture and we often recognise when someone is using their energy in an unhealthy way (wasting it on things that make them miserable). Unless being asked for advice, it’s better to not say anything and protect our precious energy. I have felt drained so many times after giving advice to my friends and family when they did not ask for it, though this is a hard habit to unlearn.
My process
The ideal daily scenario is to work for a few hours, rest afterwards, and then dedicate my time to studying. I also need time outside daily and time alone daily. I started going for walks in the park without my phone and I always know it is the best thing for my body and soul. All this can be seen as waiting for the right invitation. When the invitation would come, my initial reaction used to be yes. Now I say, “can I get back to you later?” That gives me time and space to ride my emotional wave, and when the clarity comes, then I can say yes or no. Everything in my human design chart screams slow down and wait. And I deeply feel that this is the key to my well-being.
Learn more
If you are curious about your human design you can look it up here: https://www.jovianarchive.com/Get_Your_Chart
You can also learn more about the basics of HD here: https://www.jovianarchive.com/Human_Design/Why
In my next blog I will dive deep into the basics of Human Design. I always welcome any feedback or topics you want to learn more about.
If you want to dive deeper with me, book a single or double session here: https://lenkakriz.com/?page_id=28
